Last May to October 2016, I had the privilege of reviewing for the Bar exams in Jurists Bar Exam Review Center in Manila, and finally taking the Bar Exams on November.
Everyone knows that the most prestigious exam in the country is the Bar examinations. It occurs once a year and almost seven thousand hopefuls pass the gates of the University of Sto. Tomas.
The results came out this May 2017. I failed (emphasis supplied). It was very heartbreaking. My feelings were uncontrolled. I kept myself composed in the office not wanting to be seen crying by everyone there. I still could not sleep well at night. I still refuse to eat food that I associate with the Bar exams.
I am writing this because aside from the emotional roller coaster ride that I have been on, it has also severely affected me mentally.
The emotional and mental struggle that I have been on manifested through my physical appearance and behavior. Take for example a social person like me shying away from the hustle and bustle of the city. I have also shied away from friends because I really did not want to be consoled (in addition to getting ignored when I congratulated everyone who passed).
Today I feel so irrelevant to people. I feel so forgotten. But despite all that, there were people who broke barriers to be with me. They cried with me. Never have I been so touched by the overwhelming love of my family, and my best friend.
To date, this has been my greatest failure and yet my greatest win in life. I have realized so many things, I matured a bit and I have spent time on myself.
I’d still try to get the license, I’d still be hopeful, I’d still look back and reflect where I went wrong last year in hope of correcting my mistakes. I’d still aim to tighten my grip on my studies.
If after all these efforts I still do not make it, I’m sure I have a new world waiting for me.
The Bar exams knocked me down but I will not allow it to cloud my future. Destiny has its way of bringing me right where I am supposed to be.