It has been a month since I last saw your pretty face smiling to me. The days were so long, I could not wait to hold you close. It felt horrible. I felt bad for not being able to be with you when you needed me. I know love is mutual, you have always been there for me, through the good and bad, the happy and sad, the highs and lows. *sigh*
When the tides change and our love is bleak, I will always look back to this happy day. Why is it so my little drummer boy? I have never felt so happy my entire life but here I am worrying that maybe someday you will fly to a more alluring sight, a more happy land.
I’m afraid to let you venture out. Selfish right? But I want you to be happy and successful and I want it just that for you. I just want to follow you wherever you are, chase after my dreams and live a happy and good life with the ones I love most.
There are too much things that I cannot tell you personally, maybe it’s because I’m scared. I am not being cohesive aren’t I? Just stay. I’m not ready. There I said it. No, wait. Stop. You go. I’m being too dependent on you. I want to give you whatever you need.
Too many questions, too many tears, too many heartaches. Oh what am I to do, my little drummer boy? My heart beats fast. My says no. My heart says a million things, it gets messed up in my rib cage. Ha! Got you there! 🙂
“Will you be here on my birthday when you leave? How about our anniversary? Lent?” *sigh* I’m a weakling, a coward, a loser without you, but now I’m strong, and brave and a winner. Can we stay just like this on the photos? Happy without a care in the world.
I wish I could just hold you tight. Hang on to you for a little while. I want to be clingy for a while. I don’t want the music to end. I don’t want this love to fade or wane.
Can we ever cheat on fate?
And as I gain control of my emotions again, rubbing my eyes of what seems to be tears, blowing my nose and clearing my throat. I love you. I should stop thinking of the future, it will ruin the present.
I’ll enjoy what we have now. This life. This love. My little drummer boy and I.
May our love last. May our friendship bind us strong enough to withstand the current of the burdens, hardships and trials. And as my APO friends say, “May we always be”.